Inside Looking Out
Did you ever have one of those days when you want to do something, something creative and you just do not know what. One of those days when you have all the words in your head but you just can not organize them enough to put them on paper. One of those days where you feel like there is this other person trapped inside of you and you just can not let them out. Some one who has great ideas, thoughts and creativeness but is just stuck below the surfaces. I have a lot of those days, days where I have so much that I want to do but fight off letting that person that is struggling, to get out. Why is that, what are we affraid of? Is it because we are affraid to be who we are and let the real person show or is it just undevloped talent? I personally like to think that it is undevloped talent and that when I get it all together it is just going to pour out of me. I know that I am here for a reason, that I have something to give to this life I am just not quite sure what it is yet. Yes, I share my thoughts and beliefs with complete strangers with the hope that just one thing that I have blogged about will touch them and open their eyes to a whole new world but there is more to it than that. There is someone in there that is dying to get out and do something great. I can feel it, I know it is there, but I am not sure what it is or what I am suppose to do with it. And as I sit here looking at the work on my desk, I know that this is not it, I do not want to be stuck in the corporate world for the rest of my working days. But yet, as I stare out the window to the world below, I have to wonder what is really out there for me, what is it that I can do that will make me happy and support my family. Do I stay here because it is comfortable, becuase I have been here for 13 yrs and have worked hard to get where I am, but know that in this company I can not go any further. What about that person that is stuck inside with all the great ideas? Who am I, what do I want to do, what do I want to be, where am I going? In the end, the only thing hold me back is me.
posted by Michelle at 7:53 AM
4 Comments:
I often feel like that...I think you are right that most times it's only ourselves that prevent us from being the person we'd like to be. Maybe it just takes determination to look inside and see what it is that's waiting to get out.
Maybe you are right. Maybe we have surpressed ourselves to our every day lives that we are too lazy to take the extra steps to let that inner person out.
If I had to answer this same question about myself... and be brutally honest, I am equally afraid of failure and success. The two tie each other up in knots.
~S
We all hold the keys ... we merely have to muster the courage to turn them in the locks. I haven't mustered very much courage yet.
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