Another year...

Tomorrow I will be another year older and I would like to think that I will be another year wiser. It has been a rough road for me these last few months and I look forward to starting a new year with a whole world of possibilities.
I will take my lessons learned over the year and the years before and try to apply them as best I can, keep my chin up and be proud of who I am.
I have learned a lot about myself this year through experiences and believe it or not from blogging, reading and writing. I have learned that there are good people out there who see the world with an open heart, I have learned that I am a strong person, and I have learned that it is not always good to wear your heart on your sleve.
Birthdays have always been special to me, they are a day to celebrate life. This year I will be celebrating a new begining, to what I am not sure but that will come one day at a time.
The best gift that I can receive this year is for you to celebrate life with me, celebrate who you are and what you believe, know that you are worthy and strong, and be happy.

Easy to see

As we go through every day life our paths cross paths with many people of many different races, ethnic backrounds, and beliefs. These are people just like us, they have families, thoughts, emotions, and feel things. Even though these things may not be what we believe in or feel they are just as important to them as yours are to you.
Why is it so easy to see the faults in other people and we can not see our own faults, ones that are right there in front of us. Are we too proud to notice that we have faults, which we all do or are we too caught up in society to be the person we want to be or should be.
I am just as guilty as the next person, I find myself picking apart someone new to me. I know that is just my defense in a situation that I am feeling insecure. I have taught myself to catch me when I am doing it and then see one of my own. This helps me to let go of the insecurity that I may be feeling and really connect with the person.
When I was growing up, I was told that kids pick on other kids becuase there is something about themselves they do not like. It may not be the only reason, but I believe this to be true and have taught my son the same thing. I was also told that white cows produce white milk, brown cows produce brown or chocolate milk and spoted cows produce soup. This I have not taught to my son as I was picked on at a very young age when I told my friends where soup came from. Now that I am older and wiser, I can even see the lesson that there is to be taught with the cows. Even though the cows were all different they had something to provide to society just like all the different people we have in our society today. It could be a trade, a story, a belief, food, words of wisdom, a point of view, a fasion trend, what ever it is, it is important and life would be rather dull with out them.
So instead of looking for the faults or differences in someone, see all the great things they have to offer, you'll never know when one will change your life.

Wondering mind..

My mind has been wondering away this week to no where special and every where it should not be. I am not sure if it is the lack of sleep or a combination of things. I am sure the drunken call that was left in my voice mail last night has something to do with my mind not staying put today. I do know is that it is very hard to do my work, let alone try to put a post togehter. At one point I was not even sure what I was talking about in the post I started to draft I can only imagine what you as a reader would have thought.

It is funny, the time passes by in the evenings but I have no idea where it goes. Can one's mind wonder that far and that long to actually lose track of hours? Well maybe I should restate that as I know people, well ok women that have been gone for hours because their minds wonder when they are shopping. Wondering from one store to another that is. Do men do that?

Wow do I have a lot of questions about men, but I guess if there were answers to all of them we would not have anything left to draw our attention. The same goes for women though. Although, some of the clothes I see on women do not let a lot for the mind to wonder about. Does that really turn people on? Oh, the horid mental pictures I get just thinking about it.

You know, I think that I have used this pic before, I think. Apparently I liked it then and I like it now. I guess my taste does not change even if it is only after a few months, let a lone 3 years.

Putting me back together

We do not always realize what is best for us at the moment, our hearts hang on longer than they should. Some times it takes a heart wrenching event to realize this, but in the end it is usually for the best.
This past week, I realized that I need to let go of the past, to stop holding on to something that was no longer there and start putting myself back together.
Over the past few weeks I have learned a lot about the people that I consider friends. I am sadened by the fact that it sometimes takes a life altering event for you to see who your friends truly are. I am greatful for all of the people who have passed through my life at some point, but it is nice to know who your true friends are. I have also realized that I am the only one that holds the pieces of me and can put them back together.
It is a slow process, but I know in time I will be whole again and feel like the person I once was. The tears do not flow as often as they use to, the depression is being held at bay, and the light is slowly shining through.